


for you, i’d ruin myself (a million times)

by bisexualparrish



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mentions of a Panic Attack, Mutual Pining, POV Adam Parrish, Pranks and Practical Jokes, its gay chicken except with actual chickens, poor adam is just trying not to get expelled, ronan is the prankster god of aglionby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:22:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26361103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualparrish/pseuds/bisexualparrish
Summary: When Ronan dragged Adam into another one of his elaborate pranks on the unfortunate faculty of their private school, Aglionby Academy, he figured it was another item on the list of things he had to do for the day. But Ronan’s idea of filling the administrative offices full of chickens in the dead of nighthadto be one of his worst ideas yet.God. He wassogetting expelled.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 16
Kudos: 118





	for you, i’d ruin myself (a million times)

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably my favorite thing I’ve written so far. Hope you enjoy <3

Adam Parrish currently stood in front of the gates of Aglionby Academy, the private school he attended, in the dead of night, regretting and questioning every single decision he’d ever made that led him to this very moment.

More specifically, the decision to open his apartment door when Ronan Lynch knocked on the splintered wood like he longed to beat the shit out of it, just as he finished his calculus homework for the night. Also, the decision to get into Ronan Lynch’s car, the shark-nosed BMW that growled darkly in the night as he sped away from St. Agnes church. Also, the decision to agree to stuff two dozen chickens from the Barns into the back of Ronan’s car. _Especially_ the decision to help Ronan stuff two dozen chickens into the backseat of his car.

“I’m pretty sure I broke a law by accompanying you to the Barns which you’re not even allowed in, and I’m even more sure I’m about to break a dozen more laws by breaking into the school to let loose two dozen chickens in the hallways,” Adam groaned miserably to himself, but also to Ronan even though he willingly chose to help Ronan.

Well… _that_ was putting it a bit strongly.

“First of all,” Ronan said, “there’s like a thousand things wrong with what you just said. _You’re_ allowed on my property. It’s just _me_ that's not.” He spoke with more than a bit of contempt, but also with a resignation that arose from being aware of the rules, but simply preferring not to follow them. “Second of all, you’re free to leave whenever you please.”

This statement was false. He was not free to leave whenever he pleased. He was free to leave only once he had come to the conclusion that Ronan was not in an immediate position to be expelled.

“No,” Adam said. “I’m not.”

Ronan rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. “True. Gansey’d probably kill you.”

Gansey would not kill Adam if Ronan was expelled. More accurately, Adam would regret the decision to leave Ronan to face the consequences of his own actions on his own more than he’d regret being expelled himself if he was caught.

It was rather excruciating being a masochist and having a hopeless crush at the _same damn time_ , wasn’t it?

“It’d be nice if your hobby—” (Yes, Adam was aware calling what Ronan did a hobby was severely offensive to everything that actually was a hobby) “—didn’t require you to drag me out of my apartment at ass-o-clock and all the way to school where I spend hours of my time already on a daily basis. I know you have insomnia, but at least let the rest of us sleep.”

Adam wasn’t exactly aiming to guilt trip Ronan, but apparently that’s what was happening because Ronan said, “For God’s sake, Parrish, go home then. I can do this myself.”

There was no way that was happening. He groaned internally but externally he rolled his eyes, shook his head. “You really can’t. I’m staying.”

Ronan shrugged, like _Your loss._ Then he grinned. Seriously, it was like Ronan _knew_ he had Adam wrapped around his little finger. “Good. Then help me get these chickens out of the car.”

“Fuck my life,” Adam muttered. How were they even _supposed_ to get two dozen chickens out of a car and into a school that was _locked_? He rubbed at his forehead in frustration. “Can we at least open the damn school gates before we carry all these chickens?”

Ronan rolled his eyes at Adam’s melodramatics, but closed the door of his BMW. He followed Adam closely to where the gates of the school were. During a normal prank Ronan would have already brought his supplies into the school beforehand so he didn’t have to open the gates. He simply could have climbed over them. But this was not an ordinary prank. And Ronan couldn’t very well hide a bunch of chickens inside the school unless nobody was in it.

Perhaps Adam _was_ glad after all that they were doing this at ungodly hours of the night because he didn’t think he’d be able to handle the humiliation of someone watching them carry a bunch of chickens into a school. The students at Aglionby only ever witnessed the end result of Ronan’s pranks; not precisely what led up to them.

Accompanying Ronan on his nightly out of school excursions lent Adam the insight of how exactly Ronan managed to carry out his activities. Namely, the majority of time at school spent out of class allowed Ronan to explore the school freely, identifying which doors were locked, which weren’t, and what doors led where. It also allowed him to listen to the teachers’ conversations, surprisingly full of useful information to Ronan. He also happened to have long, nimble fingers and near silent footfalls when he chose to, which enabled him to pickpocket whatever he needed to get behind locked doors and unleash whatever havoc he had plotted. And possibly the most important tool at Ronan’s disposal—absolute lack of remorse.

There always seemed to be a deliberate, methodical technique to Ronan and his pranks that Adam had never seen applied to anything else in Ronan’s life. Adam remembered the one where Ronan had tried to get the whole faculty arrested (he only succeeded in half the staff but nonetheless it was an achievement), and the time he tried to sell the entire school on Craig’s List. Or it might have been eBay…

But _this_? Adam had no idea what overcame Ronan and made him decide to unleash chickens of all things. He couldn’t fathom what had inspired this. Though, there _had_ been previous pranks that were completely ridiculous and devoid of any logic whatsoever—purely the product of teenage boy tomfoolery. An uncomfortable memory arose in his brain of the inflatable sex-doll prank. _That_ had certainly been a weird day. It had taken the faculty the entire school day to get rid of them all.

They reached the corner where the school gates were. Ronan fished out a large fob with keys hanging on it from his pocket and grinned wickedly, jolting it roughly so it jangled. If Adam had felt any fatigue at the hour it was, that sound neatly extinguished it.

“I don’t even want to know how you got those,” said Adam. _Or how you managed to not get them taken away._ Adam was pretty sure he’d had those keys ever since he’d unleashed his first prank.

Ronan looked like he was about to reply, but then out of nowhere he began to release a string of curses under his breath. Adam flicked his eyes to where Ronan’s were. He was watching a pair of security guards patrolling the opposite corner of the school, armed with flashlights and sour expressions.

God. He was _so_ getting expelled tonight. The worst thing was that the chickens wouldn’t shut _up_. Adam could visibly see them squawking in the backseat of Ronan’s BMW. Thank the lord that the chickens were currently in the car and the car doors were closed, otherwise they would have been screwed. If Adam listened hard enough—however this might have been the product of his imagination combined with paranoia—he thought he could hear the chickens anyway.

There was still the matter of Ronan and Adam being outside and the possibility of one or both of them being caught by the security guards. The BMW was parked close to where they were standing.

Adam prayed to every god he could think of. _Don’t let me get expelled_. Sure, it was almost the end of senior year, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still be expelled. It would go on his record, the Ivy Leagues he’d applied for would be notified and any acceptance letter he might get would immediately be revoked. His life and everything he’d ever worked for would literally be over.

“Stop thinking about your fucking school record for a moment, would you?” Ronan hissed into Adam’s ear. He had no idea when Ronan had gotten so close. He could feel Ronan’s breath in his ear, skittering across his neck.

“Didn’t know you were a mind reader, Lynch.” He tried to keep his voice steady, nonchalant.

“I’m not. I just know you.”

God _damn it_. It was the things Ronan said sometimes, innocuous things like _that,_ like how he _knew_ Adam. Things like that got under Adam’s skin more than he’d like to admit. He used to think nobody could ever truly know him, but now he knew better.

“What if they spot the car?” asked Adam, instead of continuing the current conversation.

“One thing I’ve learned,” said Ronan, sage in a way that was so ridiculously uncharacteristic of him that Adam simply couldn’t _not_ focus on his words. _For God’s sake, Parrish, stop staring at his mouth_. “Don’t kill yourself over ‘what ifs.’ They’ll fuck up the fun of pranks so bad.”

He had an inkling Ronan was divulging what he considered useful life advice to Adam. Adam gave him a flat look in response. “Good thing I’m not into pranking people, then.”

Ronan grumbled indignantly, “Has anyone told you you’re a party pooper?”

“Yes,” said Adam, giving Ronan a look rivaling that of Ronan’s pet raven, Chainsaw. “You. Several times, in fact.”

“Right. That does sound like me.” He glanced past Adam, likely searching for the security guards.

If Adam strained his hearing, he could make out voices under breaths and dragged, tired footsteps on concrete not too far from where Adam and Ronan were standing, just barely out of sight. Though it was a wonder he could hear any of that through one ear. The loss of hearing in Adam’s left ear caused him to have to rely on other senses to perform the same function.

The security guards seemed to be inching closer and closer. It was getting harder to breathe.

One would have expected that after the countless times Adam had accompanied Ronan on his prank planning and instigating sessions, he would have mastered the art of squashing the worry and the paranoia and the panic that came along with it. Regrettably, that was not the case. Adrenaline spiked through his veins and his blood ran colder with every inch closer to them the security guards ambled.

Everything felt achingly tight; it felt like his ribs were closing in around his lungs. Adam didn’t think he was breathing. His mind felt like it was swimming in molasses. His limbs appeared to move in slow motion, and it was getting harder for him to focus his vision.

Some nights it was easier. Some nights Adam could convince himself that there was absolutely nothing to worry about. Nobody was getting expelled. He wouldn’t get in trouble. Everything was fine. Everything was just swell. Splendid. Fantastic. Absolutely superb.

Some nights were harder.

Tonight was one of those harder nights, and Ronan seemed to get a clue about this because he took Adam’s wrist gingerly in between his index and middle fingers, and his thumb. He placed those two fingers on the skin on the underside of his wrist. They both could feel Adam’s pulse racing, like he’d started running a marathon already out of breath.

“Parrish,” whispered Ronan. “Adam. You need to breathe.” It was funny, really, how nearly every other time in his life _Adam_ was the levelheaded one, keeping Ronan and his fluctuating emotions in check. And here Ronan was, repaying the favor.

Adam nodded silently, squeezing his eyes shut to stop the moisture where they began, and focused on inhaling, exhaling. The brick wall was cool on his back. He could feel it through his shirt. _Breathe in. Breathe out._ The air was crisp and cold and he took in as much as he could. He focused on the sound and rhythm of his breathing, and of Ronan’s breathing. He tried to make them match. It felt like it took hours.

Finally, he opened his eyes, with intention. He found Ronan’s bright blue ones staring back at him, clear and calm and neatly composed in the way everything inside Adam had not been. Ronan was adept at disguising emotions, but Adam could see the concern masked behind his eyes.

Brushing off Ronan and his concern, Adam said, “I’m fine. Let’s just get this over with. I think the security guards left.”

The other boy looked unconvinced but didn’t argue. He knew Adam—and trusted Adam—well enough not to.

They crept past the corner they had been leaning against and watched across the parking lot on the other side of the school as the two security guards got back into their respective cars. Adam felt bad that they were dragged onto the school grounds at the dead of night because of Ronan. Mainly because he could relate.

Ronan smirked at the sight, completely impenitent.

“Have some sympathy, Lynch.” Adam lightly shoved Ronan in the side with his elbow. “Not everybody has the patience to deal with you and your antics.” _Not like me._

Instead of replying, Ronan caught Adam’s wrist again. Adam turned to look at him. His expression was solemn. “Do you want to wait in the car? I promise I’ll be fine without you. I don’t want to keep dragging you into this if you aren’t comfortable with it.”

For some reason, Adam wasn’t annoyed by Ronan’s persistence like he usually was. If anything, it was a little endearing. He bit his lip to hold back a smile. “As much as I appreciate your concern, I’m fine. Trust me.”

He let go of Adam’s wrist. Adam found he didn’t want Ronan to let go—he found he wanted a lot of things from Ronan, actually—but there was no way he would tell Ronan any of this, so he stayed silent.

They rounded the second corner, back the way they had come. The school gates towered above them, suddenly an intimidating sight. Without hesitation, Ronan unlocked the gates and carefully swung one door open to make as little noise as possible.

Ronan’s eyes gleamed with mischief as he beckoned for Adam to follow him with a flick of his hand. They made their way through the courtyard and unlocked the door to the administrative building where the headmaster and secretarial offices were.

“What about the cameras?” Adam asked, though he supposed it was a little too late to be asking about them now that they were already inside.

“Gansey’s taken care of that for me,” said Ronan.

“You brought Gansey into this too?” said Adam.

“I mean, he has to contribute somehow.”

“Why didn’t you just bring him along? I’m sure he would have wanted to be included. Maybe he could have come with you instead of me.”

“Nah,” said Ronan. “I don’t think he’d want to. Gansey’s not built for this type of stuff, anyway. This isn’t his scene.”

“And it’s mine?”

Ronan did not have a reply for this. His mouth parted like he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t.

“We need to go back to the car,” Adam said, “to get the chickens.” He shook his head in disbelief. He couldn’t believe he was actually saying that sentence out loud. It felt ridiculous to say, and it sounded equally as much.

“Yeah. We’ll bring them in a few at a time. I’ll bring the car around here so we don’t have to keep running back.”

Ronan disappeared. As he went past each door, he placed an object at the bottom of the door to prop it open so he didn’t have to unlock it again once he returned. When Adam truly realized he was alone, he could have sworn the air felt a little colder; the shadows in the corners of the hallways felt a little more daunting.

After a few long minutes, he left the administrative office door and navigated the open hallways back to the courtyard. At least there was slightly more light outside and fresher air. As he entered the courtyard, the BMW just happened to glide by. The parking brake was thrown on and Ronan exited the car. The chickens were chittering quietly and not really making that much noise.

Ronan smiled roguishly, holding a bag of chicken feed. At Adam’s horrified gaze, he said, “We’ll sprinkle this bad boy after the chickens are all settled.” When Adam’s horrified gaze didn’t waver, Ronan breezed past Adam back to the car. He opened the trunk, pulling out a… laundry basket?

“You don’t even do your own laundry,” said Adam, raising his eyebrow. “Just where exactly did you get _that_ from?” Not the first time, Adam wondered who at Monmouth even did their laundry.

“The Barns,” replied Ronan. “Obviously I don’t do my own laundry.”

Adam wrinkled his nose. “That clears a lot of things up for me, actually.”

Ronan flipped him off. “There’s another one still in the trunk. Just for you, Parrish.”

He rolled his eyes and grabbed the second laundry basket just as Ronan placed a few chickens into his. If Adam thought carrying a chicken in his arm looked embarrassing, carrying chickens in a laundry basket probably looked completely ludicrous.

“Are you sure you aren’t pranking _me_ instead? I look like a lunatic. Where are the hidden cameras, Lynch?”

“As much as I wish I’d thought of doing that,” said Ronan, “I’m not pranking you. I probably look more of a lunatic than you do.”

Adam glanced at Ronan. He was definitely right. The image of Ronan himself combined with the image of him holding a laundry basket full of chickens was completely risible.

A bubble of laughter escaped Adam, and he received a glare in return, though there was no genuine heat in it.

They continued to carry chickens into the school and scattered them in the hallways and offices as well as in completely arbitrary spaces. Adam was pretty sure Ronan had placed one of the chickens in a large, open drawer within the headmaster’s desk.

Ronan’s amusement was palpable and very contagious. Soon Adam found himself smirking at the sight as well. They shared an impish grin once they were finished.

“Now, it’s time for the last step.” Ronan grinned.

“Shouldn’t we park the car back?” Adam suggested. “We wouldn’t want someone coming back and spotting the car right in the center of the courtyard.”

“Nah, nobody’s gonna come back. They never do. But sure. I’ll go. At least so you don’t freak out on me.” Ronan’s desultory remark and the expression on his face didn’t exactly coincide. He took both laundry baskets and disappeared.

Adam had always wondered why Ronan tried so hard to behave like he didn’t care when he obviously did. He cared more than most people even pretended to.

He had figured Ronan simply didn’t believe caring had any positive effect. Caring about something, or someone, only let you down at the end. He thought it was weak, that people would judge you if you cared too much. He had attached a negative connotation to “care” and hadn’t looked back since.

What Adam couldn’t fathom, was why Ronan was under the impression that he wasn’t allowed to care about _Adam_? Did he think Adam would let him down? Did he think Adam would judge him, or think lesser of him for it?

Did Ronan seriously not notice that Adam _liked_ him? Adam didn’t think he was being very subtle. Why else would he go along with Ronan’s delinquent pranks every single time despite constantly complaining about the threat of expulsion?

Everything else was an excuse, really. There were plenty of ways to make sure Ronan didn’t get expelled that _didn't_ include allowing him to do—and accompanying him while he did—what would literally get him expelled.

Ronan finally returned. Adam tried to make it appear like he _wasn't_ just thinking about how he liked Ronan. He was grateful for the shadows and darkness and how it concealed his warm cheeks.

Adam was about to turn back toward the school buildings, but he heard a car speed into the lot outside the gate. Headlights brutally illuminated the front gate in a dusty sheen.

“Fuck!” Ronan cursed. He grabbed Adam’s wrist and dragged him behind the trunk of one of the large beech trees near the corner of the courtyard.

His pulse heaved. His breaths started to come out shorter and faster.

Voices sounded outside the gates; they sounded different than the voices of the security guards that had been here a couple hours ago.

These people were different. That meant they wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. They were blocking Ronan’s and Adam’s only way out.

“Is there another way out?” hissed Adam in Ronan’s ear. He tried really hard not to panic.

Ronan didn’t answer, which Adam knew was an answer in itself.

_Okay, now let’s panic!_ his brain said gleefully.

“Nonononono,” Adam started to say under his breath. He couldn’t let that happen again tonight. No. _Please._

“Parrish.” Ronan’s voice grounded him. There was no reason for Adam to panic. Ronan always figured out a way. He wouldn’t let them get caught. Everything would be fine. _Right?_ “Come on.”

Adam reluctantly followed Ronan back into the building, this time where the lockers were located. Ronan led him past their locker section and to a dark, empty classroom.

“What are we even doing here?” Adam asked miserably. “We’re literally stuck in the school in the middle of the night and you decided to—”

Ronan slammed the door shut—making Adam swallow his words—and decided not to turn on the light. Instead, he turned on his phone flashlight and swung it around slowly, lighting up swaths of the room briefly.

“Nobody uses this room,” Ronan said. “We’ll be able to stay out of sight in here, at least until early morning.”

“ _What_?!” exclaimed Adam, as quietly as he could. He couldn’t keep the rising alarm out of his voice, though. “But—I have homework. At St. Agnes. My uniform. Everything. I can’t stay here. I—”

Adam stopped speaking when Ronan plopped to the floor of the classroom, leaning his back against the wall. He stretched his legs all the way out and patted his hand on the space next to him.

Adam sat next to Ronan. Lethargy suddenly washed over him with the vigor of a rip current. He wished for a moment that he could get at least a small amount of sleep tonight, though logically he knew his mind was racing too quick for him to. Perhaps this was what Ronan always felt like: eternally tired, but never able to actually fall asleep.

He hadn’t actually realized how similar their situations really were, mainly because of the fundamental difference between them: Adam wouldn’t sleep out of necessity, but Ronan couldn’t usually sleep even if he wanted to.

“Do you trust me?” asked Ronan quietly.

Adam wanted to say _No_ but that would have been a lie. And he was speaking to _Ronan_ , so he said what was true instead. “Yeah. I do.”

“Then trust me when I say I promise nothing’s gonna happen. I’ll call Gansey in a few hours and he’ll bring over your homework and shit.”

He really wanted to be satisfied with this answer, but he just wasn’t capable of that right now. “What about—my uniform? I need to _brush my teeth_ for God’s sake.”

Ronan snorted. “You really don’t think I’ve been prepared for this eventuality ever since my first prank, do you? Of course I have an extra uniform, and fucking toothpaste. Don’t get your panties in a twist, Parrish.”

Adam felt relief at this, ironically. He rubbed his eyes with his palms. “How much time’ve we got?” he asked. It took him this long to realize he’d been much too exhausted to focus on clipping his Henrietta vowels. They flowed freely out of him now.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Ronan, gently. “You should sleep.”

“I can’t,” whispered Adam. He shook his head, closed his eyes miserably. “I don’t think I can.”

“Try,” insisted Ronan. He slipped off his leather jacket, draping it half over Adam and half over himself like a blanket. “Here. Now sleep.”

Adam huffed, albeit a bit half-heartedly. “You’re lucky I’m too tired to argue with your ass.”

“Yeah, yeah. Now shut up.”

Deciding to ignore Ronan, he lay the side of his head on Ronan’s shoulder, because his exhaustion gave him either the courage or the stupidity to do so. Ronan allowed the touch. He rested his cheek on the side of Adam’s head in answer.

Normally Adam would have been freaking out over it all, but now it only offered much needed comfort. He already felt his eyes drooping closed and his mind quieting at the silence of the room. At the peacefulness of gentle, rhythmic breathing. At a soft stroke of a thumb on the peaks of his knuckles.

It truly was all Adam needed to fall asleep. He only hoped Ronan got some sleep as well.

***

Adam woke just as Ronan entered the room, throwing a brush and toothpaste folded in an extra uniform at him.

“Come on, Lynch,” groaned Adam, rubbing at his eyelids. “What was that for? Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Sleeping beauty needed his sleep, I guess,” Ronan replied. He shrugged. “Who was I to wake you? Anyway, go get ready. The teachers’ll be here soon enough. A fun surprise will be waiting. You want a spoiler?”

“Nope,” said Adam. “I’m gonna go now.”

He quickly got dressed in the bathrooms. When he returned, Ronan was nowhere to be found, and instead he saw Gansey enter the room hurriedly.

“Adam!” Gansey exclaimed. “There you are.”

He took his messenger bag from Gansey’s outstretched hand. “Yeah. I’m here.”

“I’m so sorry you got stuck here,” said Gansey apologetically, as if it had been his fault. “I can’t imagine how stressful it must have been. I would have helped Ronan out instead, but he doesn’t—” He cut himself off.

“Hmm? What were you saying?”

“Nothing,” corrected Gansey. “Hopefully Ronan didn’t give you too much trouble.”

Adam shrugged. “Oh, he gave me plenty of trouble—what’s new, anyway? Nothing I can’t handle, though, don’t worry.”

Gansey chuckled. “I’m sure. Everything in the bag? I don’t think I missed anything, but you should check just in case.”

“Yeah, it’s alright,” said Adam. “Thanks, Gansey. I owe you. Big time.”

“Oh, pshaw,” said Gansey (This made Adam smirk—he’d most definitely learned that from Blue). “It’s no big deal, really.”

Adam didn’t want to wait until Ronan came back to say what was burning in his mind. He said, “What were you saying about Ronan, Gansey?”

Gansey exhaled slowly. “I only meant that I’ve volunteered to accompany Ronan several times but he’s always turned my offers down. Something about ‘preferring Parrish to you with these types of things.’

“Oh.” Adam’s eyebrows raised unconsciously. “He told me he didn’t think you’d want to come. I didn’t know you’d volunteered.”

“I—” Gansey started, but just then, Ronan flew into the room at high speed.

“We need to leave,” he said, “to avoid the chicken stampede. This’ll be entertaining to watch. Not to be subjected to.”

Gansey and Adam only shared a nervous glance as they followed Ronan out of the empty classroom.

***

Ronan surveyed the academic and administrative buildings with unadulterated glee. The smug grin plastered onto his face sustained throughout the day.

Some of the chickens had escaped into the courtyard, and all over the place, members of the Aglionby faculty were chasing down chickens.

The students at Aglionby, on the other hand, furiously whooped at all the commotion, taking pictures and videos on their cell phones. It was highly likely they were all going on various social media platforms.

There was also chicken feed _everywhere_. It was rather amusing how when Ronan and Adam were handling the chickens the night before, they were quiet and obedient, but currently the chickens were running amok and refused to listen to the staff’s curses for them to stay still.

Adam couldn’t help but laugh at their attempt to round up all the chickens in one place. They would catch one chicken, put it down, and by the time they would go for the next chicken, the first one was already gone.

Some students occasionally sidled up to Ronan and congratulated him on a prank well done. Other students merely exchanged a knowing look with him.

Ronan responded to all of them with a cool look that revealed absolutely nothing about whether in actuality he’d committed the transgression or not.

“Are you sure they won’t figure out it was you who did it?” whispered Adam once the queue of students cleared out of Ronan’s general area. “It would be a shame if this ends up being your last prank ever.”

They’d drifted over to the back wall of Welch Hall, the academic building, to get away from the commotion of the rest of the staff and students. It was quieter here, more peaceful. There was something Adam wanted to talk to Ronan about.

Ronan snorted. “Poor bastards don’t want to get sued by privileged fuckers. No way I’ll get caught unless they have a signed confession or some shit.”

“Careful with your words, Lynch,” warned Adam dryly. “Never know when they’ll bust out their funds and call the FBI or something. They’ll find your fingerprints and you’ll be done for.”

A laugh escaped Ronan’s mouth. It was such a joyful, wonderful laugh, Adam thought. It was a sound he didn’t think he’d mind hearing on repeat.

There was something about Ronan when he pulled his pranks that Adam had never been able to put his finger on until that very moment.

Adam was perfectly aware of the magnitude of hatred that encompassed Ronan when it came to Aglionby Academy. It was a place he was forced against his will into going; a place for learning the skills of a life he didn’t want; a parasitic prison that sucked the life and joy out of him. It depressed him because he was so much more than what Aglionby was: a place for the sons of liars and deceivers and rich bastards who cared for nobody but themselves. Aglionby was everything Ronan was not, never had been, and never would be.

The realization dawned on Adam that the reason Ronan participated in these pranks and shenanigans was this: it was his way of retrieving what Aglionby had unfairly taken from him. Messing with the people and the place he hated made him feel an unadulterated sort of joy. It made him feel profoundly _alive_. It was also a subtle, albeit vague, compromise—he wouldn’t drop out. It wasn’t the best coping mechanism, but it was better than what he had done in the past, in the early wake of Niall Lynch’s untimely death: sleepless nights spent drinking himself into oblivion, street racing with people who didn’t care about him, and pushing his best friends—the people who did—away.

It was absolutely no contest—of course Adam preferred Ronan pulling pranks to the alternatives.

“No way the parental school board will allow that to happen,” said Ronan, a small smile still present on his face. “Their charitable donations shouldn’t go toward something so _ignominious_.” His mocking tone was evident.

Adam smirked. “You totally learned the word _ignominious_ from Gansey.”

“Actually, I think it was you who said it,” muttered Ronan, “but okay.”

“So,” started Adam. “I was talking to Gansey earlier.” He paused, not knowing how to continue further. He didn’t want to scare Ronan away.

Ronan stared at Adam, motioning for him to continue.

“I asked him why he never wanted to come with you on your prank-pulling expeditions. And he told me he’d volunteered numerous times but you’d always declined his offers.”

His eyes widened in realization, and Adam was faintly aware of how his ears turned pink. “Gansey and his fucking blabbermouth,” he growled lowly to himself.

“Why’d you lie to me, Ronan?” he asked, not in an unkind way.

Ronan’s ears pinked even more, and Adam couldn’t help but smile. He bit his lip to hold it back and looked away.

Ronan waited a long moment before he spoke. “I was,” he started, “afraid.”

That was why people lied, wasn’t it? Why people kept secrets and held things back? Because they were afraid. What precisely they were afraid _of_ depended on the person, and on the secret being kept. But the general concept was the same: people were afraid of the consequences. Of what would happen if they spoke the truth.

Ronan had never cared about the consequences of telling his truth, about telling things the way he saw them instead of sugarcoating them. So why was he afraid now?

The truth crashed into him with the force of a train. It was precisely the same reason Adam was afraid of telling Ronan _his_ truth.

Adam laughed deliriously, in that sort of way where you closed your eyes and threw your head back with amusement and disbelief in equal measure. “Lynch. Are you kidding me?”

Ronan narrowed his eyes. They clearly reflected anger, but Adam saw the poorly hidden hurt behind them.

Adam’s eyes widened. “Shit,” he cursed. “No, no, that’s not what I meant. I—”

“Spare me.” Ronan’s lips were pursed tight in a thin, white line. His expression and body language were completely closed off, defensive and cold.

Adam groaned. “Would you hold on a second, please?” He couldn’t help but shake his head in disbelief when he said, “God. You’re actually an idiot. Why do you think I keep coming with on these stupid pranks? Because I genuinely _enjoy_ pranking people?”

“Surely not because you enjoy my company,” said Ronan, a minuscule, wry smile playing on his lips, “since you never stop complaining.”

Adam rolled his eyes. “What’s your truth, then? You’ve never been scared of the consequences of the truth. Why now?”

Ronan scoffed. “You want to know the truth, Parrish? Fine. I don’t invite Gansey in the dead of night to unleash a horde of chickens upon the grounds of our private school because I’m not fucking in love with him.”

The words took a moment to sink in. And this time, it was Adam who turned pink. Ronan smirked at him, as if _Adam_ was the one who’d just admitted he was in love with _Ronan_.

His mind wandered to every time Ronan had helped him breathe through one of his panic attacks. Then, to last night when they’d realized they were trapped in the school with no way out. Ronan had given Adam his leather jacket to use as a blanket and his shoulder to use as a pillow, no questions asked. He’d been prepared for every eventuality because he knew Adam would have been in trouble even if he’d brushed it off.

He thought about how Ronan _knew_ Adam, so much better than Adam knew himself sometimes.

He definitely _was_ in love with Ronan, if he truly stopped to think about it, but that was besides the point.

“So, let me get this straight,” began Adam, attempting to compose himself, to not spring at Ronan and do something neither boy was ready for. “You keep waking me up at ungodly hours of the night to break and enter and do illegal shit just because you want to spend time with me and don’t have the balls to ask me out?”

Ronan’s bravado promptly disappeared. He didn’t speak, though his lips were parted as if he couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of Adam’s mouth.

Finally, Ronan seemed to find his words. “Uh—yeah. I think you just about summed it up.”

“I can’t believe this,” said Adam, breathing out a laugh and trying his hardest to hold back his growing grin. “You’re really telling me you didn’t realize I’ve been constantly going along with these pranks because I can’t fucking say no to you, are you?”

Ronan scoffed. “Excuse me, Parrish, but you didn’t _realize_ shit either,” he said, his tone mocking. His eyes, though, were gleaming brightly as if the light from all the stars was trapped inside his irises.

Looking at his eyes made Adam’s blood feel charged. It was a frisson of exhilaration that spurred him into action. Enough was enough. He was done being uncertain, of worrying about things that didn’t matter. No prank could come even close to kindling the amount of adrenaline he felt right in that moment.

He hesitated for half a second, waiting for Ronan’s feverish nod, before stepping closer and deciding to ignore the existence of personal space. “You know, Lynch—sometimes, I think you talk too much.”

The other boy’s words came out in a breathy whisper. “Yeah?” He raised an eyebrow brazenly, in a way that totally didn’t match the nervous, yet hopeful look in his eye. “And what are you gonna do about that, Parrish?”

It felt like a dare, a challenge—in the metaphorical sense of course. In reality, nothing about the situation was anything resembling a challenge. It was quite easy, actually, for Adam to decide what to do next, and they both knew it. 

With the both of them, Adam discovered, it had never been a question of _if_ —but a question of _when_. And now, it wasn’t even a question at all.

Adam rolled his eyes extravagantly but couldn’t prevent a grin from spreading across his face. “Your flirting game is actual shit. I hope you know that.”

At the first hint of Ronan’s answering grin, Adam could not take it anymore. He surged forward, Ronan surged forward, then his hand was fisted in Ronan’s collar and Ronan’s lips were on his, all taking place in a neatly wrapped moment, a perfect sliver of time.

The kiss was a breath of clarity after drowning in a sea of insecurity and doubt. It was a black-and-white world exploding into vibrant color. It was the rough brick wall digging into Adam’s back, ribs under the touch of gentle hands, fingers twisted in hair like tangled roots. It was bodies that fit perfectly pressed together and arms twining around each other to satisfy the aching desire to be closer, impossibly closer than they already were.

It was a sensation completely unlike anything Adam had ever experienced in his entire life. His blood was pumping, his heart was racing, and every brush of the other boy’s touch set his nerve cells on fire. He never wanted this to end.

“Like yours is any better,” murmured Ronan, an impossibly late reply. But he understood some things had taken priority.

“Shut up.”

They knotted back together and kissed again. Adam could feel his pulse in his toes. After what felt like forever, he broke it off, grinning too widely to continue. Ronan chased his lips in an attempt to resume Round 2, but Adam effectively stopped him with a hand to his chest. Adam could feel Ronan’s heart beating rapidly underneath his hand. His own surely matched.

“We should probably go,” said Adam, though this was definitely the last thing he wanted to do. “Somebody might wander past or something.”

The other boy gave him a flat look. He was much past the point of giving a fuck about what others thought of him.

“Gansey’ll be looking for us,” tried Adam, again. “Or at least for me. I’m not in class.”

Ronan smirked. “Funny how your school record is the last thing you’re worried about right now.”

“I know,” said Adam, shaking his head sadly. “How uncharacteristic of me.” He shrugged innocently. “Guess I had better things to do.”

“I’ll bet. Though I have a feeling Gansey knows perfectly well where you are.”

He groaned. “You have a point.”

He had the fleeting thought to indulge Ronan and resume Round 2, but then Ronan stepped away from Adam and beckoned him with a hand. “Come on.”

He reluctantly followed Ronan back through the courtyard and into Welch Hall. The staff appeared to have gotten the chicken situation under control, though some stragglers glowered as they searched the grounds for any more hidden surprises.

They followed a familiar route through the building until Adam realized they’d reached the empty classroom they’d hidden in the night before.

“Don’t get all hot and bothered, Parrish,” said Ronan. “Nobody’ll find us here.”

Adam let himself be led into the dark classroom, lights down low and windowpanes firmly closed. It was dark enough that he allowed himself to smile as his hand found the other boy’s nape and rested there as if it had always belonged there.

“I’m gonna hold you to that, Lynch,” Adam said, pulling Ronan closer.

He laughed. “Wouldn’t have it any other way, Parrish.”

Needless to say, Ronan had been oh so wonderfully right.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, y’all. Comment your feedback if you have any :)


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